GET BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever used a Bluetooth device or used a wireless area network? If yes, you won’t have any problem with this topic. If your answer is no –don’t worry, you’ll catch on easily. This is the last topic I’m dealing with in this chapter and I’ll be dealing with one of the most important topic in life –Relationships.
Connection between two electronic devices has nothing to do with brand, manufacture date, type or function of device, country of manufacture or anything else. The key to connection between any two devices is identification.
If any electronic device can recognize the format of the data on another device then there can be a transfer between the two devices even if the devices are made by different manufacturers at different times.
Identification is also the key to relationships, it is about who you want to identify with, who you want people to see you together with, who can understand and accept you, who you can share yourself with. If there is no identification, then there is no relationship. Remember, show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. That is the influence of identification. Peer pressure is a function of identification; you want to smoke so you can identify with those smoking, you drink so you can be with does drinking. Identification drives our society. It is the reason people attend specific churches, move with specific friends, go to specific schools, even speak with specific people and snub others.
When you switch on your Bluetooth, it searches to see if there is any device around that it can identify with; in this case any device with Bluetooth. The same applies to us, when we get to an environment for the first time our ‘Bluetooth’ is on and we are unconsciously analysing those around, to see who we can identify with. The only thing that affects your initial choices is the program running your life. Just like computer programs, we also have programs running our lives which are a function of our background and experience in life. Race will only matter to you if you’re a racist otherwise, relationship cuts across races, ages, traditions, civilization, you name it. Two things are involved in relational identification they are; Interests and Respect.
For there to be relationship, interests must be mutual. If you’re in a relationship and only one side of the party is trying to make it work; you’re headed for muddy waters.
If you try connecting a device with another device and they don’t ‘speak’ the same language, that is –they don’t use the same data, then the connection will fail.
When reaching out, it is important to base your communication on what interests your audience. Love is a function of interests; even divine love is not without interest. Love may be unconditional, but it only goes as far as being offered without selfish gratification attached, but that is how far the sacrifice of love goes; mutual interests must keep it going. In fact, love grows as interests begin to agree.
Interest can be biased or unbiased and it can graduate from one of these forms to the other depending on how a relationship works out.
If you can identify the interests of an individual, you have succeeded in locating the door to get your own interest in return from that individual if you can meet that need. Note that people are not just interested in having their needs met, they want it to be presented to them in the best way possible. So if you have the ability to meet the interest of a corporation or individual, you must also know how to present it properly. Chapter 3 gives you practical steps toward making good presentation of your ideas so it can become reality.
It takes respect to keep receiving from each other. When you show respect for the opinions of others, you make them feel accepted and they’ll reciprocate your respect. The reason why respect is important is because it is absolutely impossible to always have interests that agree, so it takes respect to keep a relationship going. A level of relationship is possible without interests, but not without respect. You may not share much together, but you have you ears ready to hear the other person, because of respect. But it is not possible to have a relationship where there is no respect. Respect is the willingness to receive instruction and carry it out without showing hesitation; it’s the consideration for the interests of others and their reasons.
You earn respect; you don’t deserve it, so never think highly of yourself. When you meet people for the first time, one thing they must leave with is respect for you. You can only achieve this if you give them your own respect.
This is just a little of the whole. More is yet to come. Thank you